A Misadventure Most Fowl
by Livvy Liddel
Summary: Cross over between Artemis Fowl and Alice and Wonderland, along with cameos of other characters from various books/movies. Small amounts of A/H mixed in. Complete. Just something I had fun with :).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I do not own Artemis Fowl, Alice and Wonderland, or any of the other characters in this story. Though this story takes place after the 8th Artemis Fowl book, I still have Julius Root as the commander because he's funny and I really wanted to write him into this story. Also, be warned, there are bits of A/H in this, too ;). That being said, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it :).

Chapter One

_"Lock up your libraries if you like;_

_but there is no gate,_

_no lock,_

_no bolt that you can set upon_

_the freedom of my mind."_

_\- Virginia Woolf_

Due to the recent series of bad storms throughout Ireland, Fowl Manor had suffered some exterior damage. Unfortunately most of it had been the roof above where Artemis had his lab.

At the moment both senior Fowls were vacationing in the south of France so Artemis had taken the opportunity to utilize his father's library to work on his latest projects.

However, as he sat at his laptop, his eyes were focused toward the window pane instead of the glowing screen in front of him. Ever since his latest brush with death he spent more time thinking about Holly than his schemes. Pushing away from the desk, he walked along the bookshelves, reading the titles to himself. Chaucer, Plato, Machiavelli, familiar voices, words. Albeit dead ones.

There was a knock at the door, it was a welcome intrusion upon his rather somber musings.

"Come in."

Butler entered, carrying the silver tea service.

"Ah, thank you, Butler."

"Captain Short is here, Sir. Shall I show her in?"

"Yes, of course."

A moment later in strolled Holly, her green LEP uniform looking dusty from her journey to the surface. She smiled, almost shyly when she saw him, a blush coloring her cheeks.

"Hello, Artemis."

He waved her toward a seat. "Do you want some tea?"

"No, actually I'm here because Root asked me to look in on Mulch. Has he stuck around or robbed you and left?"

Artemis nodded out toward the garden.

"He's out there. Apparently I've got top rate soil. I think he finally resigned himself after being threatened with fifty years in a cell with goblins. He's a fair groundskeeper, though I will admit."

Holly sat cross legged on the chair opposite him. "How are you?"

He looked down into his cup, stirring thoughtfully.

"I'm well, considering. It doesn't feel the same, though. Working on all this," he gestured to his computers. "I'm just... tired."

"Butler told me you haven't really been yourself," she said softly. "Root didn't have me come to check on Mulch. I wanted to see you."

Reaching over, she took the teacup out of his hand and set it on the desk.

"Artemis," she began, but then the door opened, and in shuffled a dirt covered Mulch.

"Sorry to bother you, Fowl, but," however Mulch never finished his sentence. Backing into the desk, the full cup of tea upended all over Artemis's keyboard. It all happened quickly, and yet time seemed to freeze. One second, they were all staring as spilled tea sizzled and popped into all the electrical wires, sparks flying into Mulch's beard. The next Holly had unthinkingly reached out to stop it from falling, and her hand connected with the current. Her eyes widened as blue sparks ran down her arm and into the computer. The screen exploded, glass flying everywhere and Holly was thrown across the room, slamming into the bookshelves.

"Holly!" Artemis shouted, but before he could reach her, a second, larger explosion sent Mulch flying into him. The room seemed for a moment to be filled with a strange blue haze, and then as sudden as the whole thing happened, was gone.

"Will there never be peace?" muttered Mulch, brushing glass from his jacket. Butler threw open the door.

"Artemis? What happened?"

"Holly," he groaned from the floor. "Is she alright?"

"She's unconscious, but I believe she's fine. Her breathing and heartbeat feel normal."

"We'll lay her down, away from all this mess." He surveyed the damaged library, scorched books and burnt furniture mingling with broken glass and sparking electrical wires. "I'll have to ring Foaly about this. There was something we were working on together."

"Artemis?" Holly whispered weakly.

"Be still, Holly, you're hurt. I'm taking you to one of the bedrooms so you can heal yourself." Reaching under her, Artemis gently lifted her up and carried her out, wincing at the sharp pain in his back where Mulch's body had propelled him into the sofa.

There was a small guest bedroom in the same wing as the library. Artemis laid Holly down on top of the comforter and brushed her hair aside.

"How does your head feel?"

"I think I'm alright. Just some bruising. It's amazing I'm not burnt to a crisp. I think my magic counteracted getting electrocuted."

"Mulch, the blithering idiot cost quite a lot in damages today, and almost everyone's lives just by spilling tea."

"Does Foaly have all the information encrypted already?"

"Of course, plus there is a disk in my Swiss vault."

Artemis's cell phone buzzed briefly. He glanced at the caller ID quizzically, then put it to his ear.

"Yes, Butler?"

"Sir, there is a situation in the house."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_We are the music makers,_

_And we are the dreamers of dreams, _

_Wandering by lone sea-breakers,_

_And sitting by desolate streams;-_

_World-losers and world forsakers,_

_On whom the pale moon gleams;_

_Yet we are the movers and shakers_

_Of the world for ever, it seems._

_\- Arthur O'Shaughnessy_

Butler had exited from the library moments before only to be confronted by a tall menacing figure wearing a black cloak and full face mask.

This strange personage had a mechanical breathing that rasped in and out, and carried what seemed to be a red radioactive sword. Not much took Butler by surprise after all his adventures with Artemis, but this black armoured figure advancing toward him made him momentarily pause. Slowly, carefully, he reached for his gun, never taking his eyes away from him.

"Who are you?"Butler demanded. The head raised up with an almost arrogant stance.

"I AM YOUR FATHER!" The red lightsaber came whooshing up, ready to sever his arm, but from behind him another force bellowed out:

"BEHIND ME!" Butler was flung aside like a dishrag as a man wearing a tall grey hat and cloak , carrying a staff stood off against the other.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" He yelled, brandishing his staff as they circled one another.

Artimes and Holly came out of the bedroom and stared at the ludicrus scene in the hallway.

"How on earth are Darth Vader and Gandalf in my house?"

The fight became one to the death as staff was hurled against saber, both men yelling furious threats.

"FLY YOU FOOLS!" Gandalf screamed at them.

"I'm getting Foaly on the line NOW," yelled Holly over the noise, "this has to be from my magic connecting with your computor files just before the expolsion."

"Butler, come on!" quickly they descended the stairs.

In the kitchen, a small stuffed bear wearing a red shirt was rummaging through cupboards muttering to himself.

"Oh bother," hearing them, he turned around. "Excuse me please, but would you happen to have anything to eat? Perhaps some honey?"

Silently, Artemis handed the bear a small jar who cooed with glee.

"Oooh honey!"

"Move it, fat boy! I'll take that," Ripping the honey away, Garfield opened his gigantic jowl and swallowed it whole, jar and all. For once in his life, Artemis was speechless. Turning to Holly, he simply said,

"Get Foaly on the phone, please."

"I believe that when Holly's magic connected with the juice from the encryptions in the computor and caused the explosion, they sort of, well, made your father's library come to life." Foaly scrolled through the gibberish that the laptop was choking up from Artemis's end.

"I already deducted that, Watson," said Artemis sarcastically, " what should we do about it now? I have a Jedi/ Tolkien swordfight in my foyer right now. And a disruptive cat eating me out of house and home."

"Well, Commander Root insisted on coming out there personally."

Inwardly, Artemis sighed. Marvelous.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_"Come away, O human child:_

_To the waters and the wild_

_with a fairy, hand in hand,_

_For the world's more full _

_of weeping than you can_

_understand."_

_\- William Butler Yeats_

Outside, Mulch was attempting to rake up the glass from the exploded windows, oblivious of the epic battle going on within.

"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go!" He stilled, then slowly turned just in time to see seven ridiculous looking "dwarves" with shovels slung over their' shoulders disappear around the corner of the house.

"What is-"

"Supercalifragalisticexpealidodious!" What was going on? There was a bunch of penguins in suits dancing around with orange men that had green hair! They were wearin coats that said WONKA? Mulch screamed, and dropping his rake ran to the garden.

"That's it Fowl, I'm done," he said, and unhinging his jaw, he dove into the soil and tunneled away.

"I'd like to blame this on typical mud man interference, but this time it is Mulch I hear, that brings me back to your humble abode, Mr. Fowl." Root ground down on his cigar in frustration. "Where is he, by the way?"

"I believe the Oompa Loompas frightened him off," said Holly.

"What?" Root's face became a deeper hue of red.

"Nothing, never mind. Regardless, we have to figure out a way to reverse this and put everyone back where they came from."

"Foaly is still working on a plan," Root said. "What happened with the duel?"

"I think they are still at it," said Artemis. "It had reached the solarium a little while ago."

"Show me where this whole thing started."

Artemis led the way down to the library, but in the doorway, a gigantic purple dinosaur held out his arms in glee.

"I LOVE YOU," he began singing.

"What is this?" screamed Root, furious.

"YOU LOVE ME!" The dinosaur advanced towards them, reaching out for a hug.

"Draw your weapons," ordered Root, "prepare to fire on my command."

"WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!"

"SHOOT!"

With several laser blasts, the purple giant lay stunned and unconsious on the rug. Gingerly, they stepped around him. Commander Root looked around the library, at the scorched software mingling with incinerated books, and smashed tea set. Shaking his head, he said,

"We'd better wrap this up quick." He glanced down at Barney, "it's getting ugly now."

"Butler, can you contain our guests out in the garden before they do to much damage," Artemis gestured out the window at the penguins who were now summersaulting over the rose bushes into the Oompa Loompa's arms. Butler nodded and left.

"Commander, at least the..." Holly waved her arms, "characters, are only on the Fowl estate."

"So far," he snapped back.

"Yes, but at least we have it localized right now. It will make it easier for Foaly to sort through."

Butler strode down the garden path toward the penguins. A whirring in his ear tickled and he swatted at, what he thought was a fly. But an affronted gasp made him look again. A tiny fairy wearing a green leaf-like dress, gave him a snobbish scowl and buzzed off toward the house. Butler stared after her for a moment, but hearing the penguins, decided that he had bigger problems at that moment.

Tinkerbell circled the house, then seeing the broken library window, flew in and settled on top of the bookshelves. Down below, two elves and one human man were discussing something. In the doorway lay a large purple and green dinosaur, out cold, with it's tongue hanging from it's mouth. Her eyes settled on the human. His black hair glistened in the sunlight. Tink's eyes grew big and she fluttered her wings. Pan's recent rejection of her in favor of Wendy glowed within like a hot ember and she now saw Artemis as a balm to her wound. Cheeks flushing, she chittered joyfully with a girlish thrill. But then her eyes turned to Holly and saw the way they looked at each other.

Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and Tink felt as green as her dress in that moment


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness._

_-Aristotle_

"The Oompa Loompas and penguins are secured in the east wing, sir."

"Thank you, Butler," said Artemis. For some reason it felt like he was being watched, he'd felt it for a while now, but no one was in the library but the four of them.

"Butler, is there anyone else in the house other than those noted so far?"

"I did see a fairy fly towards the house sir," he answered. "A very tiny one. At first I thought it was an insect."

Artemis searched the room with his eyes but Tink was snugly hidden between Moby Dick and an atlas of the world.

"Well, let's keep an eye out for her. We can't lose anyone."

A little while later, Atemis and Holly stood outside near the garden. Root had taken Butler, and the two of them were doing recon around the mansion while he and Holly checked the grounds again. So far no more appearances had happened, but the day was yet young, he thought.

"Mulch wasted no time," he said kicking the dirt the dwarf had passed through in his hurry to leave.

"He never does," Holly doublechecked her weapon again. Tink had followed, eyes never leaving Artemis, every so often throwing a hateful glare towards Holly.

"What's this now over here?" He bent over a hole at the base of a large tree not far from the garden.

"Is it something the penguins dug up?" Holly asked.

"I'm not sure," he leaned in to listen. "I can hear something down there."

"What?"

"Someone yelling that they are late?" He sat back on his haunches. "Holly, I think this is-"

Abruptly, Tink flew at him. Startled, he swatted at her, but losing his balance, fell backward and down the hole, Tink sputtering after him.

"Arty!" Holly screamed. She grabbed her radio. "Root, come in!"

"Now what?" he barked back.

"Artemis is in trouble," quickly, she explained what had happened. "I'm going after him."

"NO, you are not, Captain Short. You will retain your position, that is a direct-"

But it wasn't the first time, she concluded, as she lowered herself into the rabbit hole, that I just did what I believed I had to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"_If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense."_

_\- Lewis Carroll_

Artemis felt his stomach lurch up into his throat as he flipped end over end, down, down, down the never ending rabbit hole, Tinkerbell clinging to his shirttail for dear life. The fall came to an abrupt and painful end as he bounced and landed at last, getting a mouthful of dirty grass and several bruised limbs. Tink was ripped from her tiny grasp of him and flung away, landing on a nearby glass table. She sputtered angrily, pixie dust flying everywhere. Artemis groaned and slowly raised himself up, spitting out the grass. Looking over, he saw Tink fussing to herself, the table and it's contents covered in a blanket of pixie dust. He laughed out loud at the strange sight, the sound funny under the circumstances.

He walked over to the table, and examined it's contents. Besides Tink, the was a small vial containing a red liquid labeled Drink Me, and a frosted cake that had in pink icing, written: Eat Me.

"I bet I know what comes next," he thought sarcastically, looking around the dimly lit room. Sure enough, there was a tiny door on the other side. The only way out.

"Just large enough for you, Tink," he said to the fairy. She blushed and giggled, reaching out to stroke his shirt collar.

"No, that's not really appropriate at this moment," he plucked her off him and set her back on the table. Scowling, she stomped her tiny foot and chittered.

"Well, now, I don't think Captain Short would approve, now do you? Sorry, Tink, but I think I need to figure a way out of here."

He fingered the vial, "If I remember correctly, "_this one makes you grow smaller." _We shall see anyhow."

Opening it, he poured a drop of the liquid onto his tongue. Immediately, he felt his body closing in on itself, growing smaller until he stood nose to nose with Tinkerbell. She squealed and tried to wrap him in an embrace, but sideswiping her, he headed toward the door. Dusting the grime off of his trousers, he nodded and said,

"Just as I thought. Come along, Tink, let us see where this door leads us too. Hopefully, there is no Jabberwocky waiting on the other side."

Opening the door, he briefly wondered if maybe his self confidence might yet again be the death of him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

_Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them._

_\- A.A. Milne_

Holly's descent down the rabbit hole was considerably more graceful, thanks to the new aerodynamic parachute that Foaly had installed in her pack. She landed nimbly on her feet next to the table, the tiny door was still hanging open. She glanced briefly at the vial and cake, then bent down to peer through the tiny door, at what appeared to be a massive garden.

"Artemis!" she yelled. No Artemis, but several faces turned to stare at her. Not human, but it was the flowers themselves that tittered and gestured at the newcomer that disturbed their' peace. It had been a busy day so far. Holly stood and turned back to the table. She fingered the cake for a moment, then pressed her intercom.

"Foaly?"

"Holly, I'm working on it now. But the electromagnetic field is glitching."

"No, I have a question here. It has to do with tunnels and talking flowers. And a beverage and snack that are labeled, eat me and drink me."

Foaly was silent for a brief moment, then he slowly asked,

"Are you in Wonderland?"

It had taken all of Artemis's knowledge of horticultural Latin and no small amount of charm to secure their' safe passage through the flower garden. Convinced that he was a small weed, the Lily had immediatly begun shrieking to the others about it. Once they were finally out and back into the full sunlight, he reached into his pocket where he had saved a corner of the pastry from the tiny room. Nibbling on a small crumb of it, his body shuddered and jerked, coming back to it's normal size.

Onward, the two of them traveled, Tink had finally settled on his shoulder, finding the proximity to Artemis preferable to flying behind him. The countryside was both bizzare and changeable. One moment the ground was a giant reaching chessboard, then abruptly became a forest of all manner of strange fauna.

"I wish I had one of those LEP helmets right now."

"Are you lost?" The voice was both coy and etheral, seeming to come from above in the tree branches, and yet there was no one there. But this was Wonderland after all, so anything could be waiting for them.

"Depends," replied Artemis. Deep in the crevices of the tree the striped outline of a blue tabby cat began to take form. The cat was large, with glowing yellow eyes and a wide grin of razor sharp teeth.

"Good afternoon, Cheshire," Artemis grinned back, and crossed his arms. "I was wondering when you'd show up."

"Oh, I'm not really all here myself, you know," the cat rolled over on his back and purred. "We're all mad here, in our own ways, after all..."

"So I've observed. I'm looking for a way out, cat. Do you think you can assist us?"

"Oh, there is no way," Cheshire's smile widened. "But you can ask the Mad Hatter."

"I don't believe that would really be a productive discussion, now do you?"

"Well, you can try the way you came, but that would be the opposite of possible. And that would have to be _im_possible, I'd say. How shall you say, anyway?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." with a crazy laugh, the cat slowly faded away, until only a glowing set of teeth remained, stretched fixedly in the dark.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

_"...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."_

_\- Emily Bronte, Wuthering _

_Heights_

"Foaly, are you getting anywhere with this mess?" Root had practically pulverized his cigar at this point.

"Yes, it's going to be soon now, but it depends on whether the coding is too fried after all that tea spilled all over Fowl's files. It's still going to take some time to clean up the damage that Mulch has inflicted."

"I should throw him back in prison and throw away the key forever. Look at all this chaos around here!" Root screamed into the intercom as Garfield came sauntering by, doublefisting potato chips into his mouth.

"Patience, Julius," Foaly quipped.

"Don't call me Julius."

"Commander," Butler interjected, "maybe I should go after Captain Short and try to find Artemis. I think your time shield here has successfully locked everyone within the estate. There is no more I can do here."

"Negative, we need to remain here until Foaly has finished reactivating the reverse coding. Those two cloaked morons are still trying to kill each other and everything around them."

"With all due respect, what if Holly cannot locate Master Fowl down there? They both could be killed and then everything will be all for nothing. We cannot bring Artemis back from the dead a _second _time."

"As the centaur said, patience. I don't think it'll come down to that."

Holly didn't have time to sit and chat with the flowers, rather when they tried to detain her from passing through, she'd had to resort to unholstering her weapon and stunning a few of them. After that, they'd let her leave with no further harrasment.

She reached the strange woods not long after Artemis had left them. It was mid-afternoon in this strange world, but once within the confines of the trees, it was pitch black.

"Arty!" She called out. Her voice bounced around the trees and seemed to literally come back to her, she realized with a start.

"Hoo hoo hoo, here comes another one," called out a voice from above.

"Who said that?" She drew her weapon and took a defensive stance. "Show yourself!"

"Are you perhaps looking for a tall man with dark hair, carrying a small fairy?" The Cheshire's face began to take form, bobbing around in the dark, grinning maniacally.

"Yes, which way did they go?"

"Well, they could have gone that way," the cat indicated a path ahead through the trees.

"Thank you," Holly started forward.

"And then again, they might have gone this way."

"Enough with this ridiculousness," she snapped. "Please tell me the real direction they took."

The floating cat head simply laughed and rolled around.

"Well, I _did _see them going in the general direction of the Mad Hatter's, but that could be in any way you wish to take." And with that he disappeared.

Sighing with frustration, Holly strapped her gun back down and went on.

Artemis and Tinkerbell had come upon the threesome gathered at the rather trashed looking tea table not long after leaving the cat. It had been hard to miss, with all the shouting and arguing (mainly about whose un-birthday it happened to be). Both the doormouse and the March Hare insisted that it was their' special day, while the Mad Hatter just kept muttering nonsense to himself and throwing cups and scones over his shoulder. A pile of shattered china lay at the foot of a tree behind his chair.

"Good afternoon," Artemis greeted them cautiously. Tink shook her wings and burrowed into his shirt.

"Would you care for some TEA?" screamed the March Hare, throwing a steaming cup at them. Artemis ducked just in time. "SIT DOWN!" Grabbing Artemis by the arm, he forced him down into a chair.

"Refreshment does sound agreeable," he rubbed his arm, frowning. He took the offered cup and sipped. Nodding, he said, "a very fine Earl Grey."

"Who is the Earl of Grey? Is it HIS un-birthday?"

"Would he like some tea as well?" quizzed the Hatter.

"I doubt it," said Artemis. "As he _is_ the tea."

"How does one become tea?" It came from the doormouse, he assumed. Otherwise, a tea pot was talking to him.

"Maybe if you consume enough of it," he replied.

"Then we shall all become tea very soon!" Exclaimed the Hatter with glee. He raised his cup and downed it in one satisfied gulp.

"Well, you are certainly on your way to becoming something. I don't suppose you could help us, we are trying to exit Wonderland. Do you know, by any chance, the way out?"

"Pass the scones!" yelled the March Hare. Hatter grabbed the tray and whipped it across the table. One bounced off of Artemis's head and knocked Tink into his cup. She angrily sloshed out, wings dripping pitifully.

"As I assumed," concluded Artemis, pushing back his chair. "No one understands much here, except the very root of _ridiculousness."_

"Thank you all very much," he said, "we must be off."

"Wouldn't you like a little more tea?"

"Thank you, but no," he picked up the remainder of his cup, lips curving into a sly smile. "However there is one thing- Hatter, I've always wanted to know, Why _is_ a raven like a writing desk really?"

The Hatter's horrified eyes met his.

_"I BEG your pardon?!"_

"Artemis!" Holly came running out of the trees. She threw herself into his arms, almost weeping. "Finally I've found you! This is the most frustrating place I've ever seen."

"Ah, Holly," he said, breathing in the scent of her. "I've always loved this story, but I think that this is enough for one day, perhaps a lifetime. Has Foaly managed to repair the code? The backup should be reconfigured if he uses the electromagnetic shield and unlocks my encryptions. I'd have done it myself if Mulch hadn't destroyed my lab."

"He's working on it right now," she replied. "Root has a time freeze over the estate so none of the creatures can escape."

"Good," he leaned forward and kissed her, surprising her for a moment, but pleasantly so. Tink gave a tiny scream and flew at her. Holly, startled, batted her away, but Artemis reached out and plucked Tink from the air before she could interfere anymore.

"That's enough. We really need to get this one back into her own story. All this angst is meant for Wendy, I presume."

"I haven't read that one, but I agree. They all need to go."

Artemis turned back to the tea party.

"Thank you once again for the charming repast. But to quote Shakespeare, "_More of your conversation would affect my brain," _so I shall bid you all adieu."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

_"I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul." _

_\- Charles Dickens, A Tale Of Two Cities _

"Alright, I've got it!" screamed Foaly into the intercom. "Holly, Root, do you read me?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Holly, Artemis, get ready and hold on tight, I'm going to activate the reverse code now."

"Just do it, ok?" Root barked.

"Ok, Artemis, considering all, this might hurt a wee bit, ok?"

"What's going to-" Holly started.

"Just activate it Foaly," Artemis interuppted. "End it."

There was a sudden roaring in their' ears and then suddenly everything went still for a moment. Tink let out a tiny frightened squeak. Then like a massive G force slamming into their' bodies, they were forced upward, the world around them spinning and shrinking. Artemis felt like his body was being squeezed and twisted like a round peg through a much to small square hole. Beside him, through the haze, the face of the Cheshire cat appeared. He was smiling.

"Jolly fun, isn't it?" he asked Artemis, who was unable to find his voice in the tumult. With an effort, he found Holly's hand and held on, afraid he'd lose her in the magnetic force surrounding them.

With one final thrust, they were up and out through the rabbit hole. Around them, the time laspe was slowly deactivating. Artemis lay on his back in the grass, every bone in his body felt like it had been beaten.

"Artemis, are you alright?" Butler asked, helping him to his feet.

"Just an average day, Butler," he replied with an attempt at humour. He turned to Holly, "are you hurt?" She shook her head.

"Is that fairy gone, finally?"

He laughed. "Yes, she's gone now."

They surveyed the damage made by the epic battle between Darth Vader and Gandalf. There would be a lot of very expensive repairs needed before his father returned home.

"Well, now I get to try and explain this latest crisis to the council, Fowl," Root said. "You're lucky I'm not forcing a mind wipe on you, but that would be pointless I suppose."

"You should give Foaly a raise I think," Artemis reached for Holly's hand. "I need to sit down."

The two of them walked into the kitchen, now desecrated by a ravenous Pooh and Garfield.

"Did those two gluttons leave anything to eat?" Holly asked.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes," she said. "It's been a long day."

"Butler," Artemis called. "Let's order a pizza. Not our usual style, but it's been a day of oddity, even for me."

He turned to Holly and pulled her to him.

"Captain Short, I have something that I've been wanting to say for a long time now. And after all we've been through it seems like a waste to let another day go by without telling you that I love you."

From behind him, he withdrew an orange rose and held it out to her.

"Will you marry me, Holly?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"_I am a part of everything that I have read."_

_\- Theodore Roosevelt_

Later that evening as they were finishing the last of the pizza, Butler knocked on the door.

"Master Artemis?"

"Yes, Butler?"

"There seems to be a blue tabby cat laughing and rolling around the halls."

"Oh, no," Holly groaned. Artemis went out just in time to see the last of the silly grin disappear.

"How is he still here?" she asked.

"I'm guessing that the fact that he has evaporating abilities caused him to escape both the time lapse and the reverse code. He simply wasn't there."

He turned to her and asked, "So how do you feel about having a cat in our family?"

_The End_

_"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."_

_\- Lewis Carroll, _

_Alice In Wonderland _


End file.
